Fantasying;Disassociation
On reading Winnicott:
Found deep resonance in a book, think it’s probably just self-projection. Still resulted in a sleepless week of contemplation. What is it to be in constant fear of a loss of identity? The result of a lifetime of being left to politely blend into the pre-set ecosystems of others and keep yourself occupied within the bounds of their environment? Be quiet, fit in, don’t make a fuss - I’ll be back for you later - and if you could be great, that would be fantastic. Cheers. Just like that, that’s it. Keep it up.
“fantasying remains an isolated phenomenon, absorbing energy but not contributing - in either to dreaming or to living”
“Inevitably she is a disappointment to herself… she feels when people are hopefully about her they are expecting something of her or from her and this brings her up againest her essential inadequacy”
“Her attempts to be a whole person in her own right were met with no success… she became a specialist in this one thing; being able to live a dissociated life while seeming to be playing”
“Gradually she became one of many human beings who do not feel that they exist in their own right as whole human beings”